It's really strange the way Life unfolds sometimes, a theme I observed and noted in my last post. Was predominantly an uneventful day, as I didn't have to work. The house where I reside, along with several friends, has seemed huge and empty and quiet with two of my friends being away for the summer to find jobs back home. I really miss the energy and spirit they and their friends bring to this delapidated pseudo-mansion. Can't wait for autumn and their return. I miss you tons Badger!
Was a truly beautiful day outside today, even with the heat. Bored and stifled, I tried to go play disc golf but my vision is too bad to drive and couldn't find anyone to catch a ride with. Ironically, my once and (maybe) future friend decided to get up with me today. The same one who, because of some inferred slight which I never was aware of or understood,
felt it necessary to tell me to fuck off and that I was wasting my life. She goes from ignoring me to seemingly being my old friend again, telling me about her son's culinary explorations and steadfastly abstaining from any comment about our fight or issues. She even stepped in to hug me, which is as strong an indication as any that SHE seems okay with things.
You would think that would make me happy, but instead it makes me anxious. I am not one of those people who feel comfortable acting like nothing is wrong. I don't understand why people will do that, when it often leaves an issue shallowly buried, ready at any time to resurface and cause problems later. I have been fortunate to have had one or two exceptional friends with strong character, people who were able to get past their own egos and helped me get past mine for the sake of being true to ourselves and understanding toward one another. I am especially cautious because my friend and I already endured another confrontation like this merely a month ago. No apologies were offered, much like this time. We just interact and don't mention the lingering elephant in the room. Pride's a bitch.
We'll see how things go. It's now a week away from my birthday. Hoping my friends will be able to come into town and celebrate. Could be quite the Midsummer's Night Eve. Crossing fingers, would love to get some action. Hope it's a full moon, I always have good mojo on a full moon.
More later.
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